Becoming a Musician: A Love Story

Should I play music?

Many of us are mysteriously drawn toward music. It has been reported throughout history that music is the language of the soul, or that which connects us to the other worlds. Music has been used for healing, ceremony, celebration, mourning, birthing, worship, and so much more. It is also monumental for social gathering, learning environments, and landmarking significant life events. Basically, music is a major part of being human. Because of music’s significance in our human existence, there is a fragile process in which the seductive art tends to lure us in. Here’s a general example of how that may take place:

Stage 1- The Vocation

Most of us connect with music and yet fewer of us feel the call to make music. The vocation often begins with a gentle curiosity. Whether you are very young or rather seasoned, there will be a sudden or gradual point where you find yourself certain that you must learn an instrument. This will feel like a beautiful beginning that may lead to much joy and wonder. You will feel as if you have decided to learn magic. The instrument or desired sound will begin to serenade your imagination, and your fingers may tingle each time you think of actually creating music. This is the vocation that, with enough tender care and time, will always lead to the decision to learn an instrument.

Stage 2- The Courtship

The courtship period begins AFTER the decision. It happens gradually and can be very sweet. You will notice your instrument flirting with you even before you know anything about it. Maybe you hear a song featuring that instrument that gives you the chills every single time. Perhaps you look at your desired instrument in a music store and feel the butterflies, or notice a smile form involuntarily as you touch a string or tap a key.

The courtship period actually never stops. Even as you dive deeper into musicianship, and even as you become comfortable expressing yourself freely on your instrument, you may still experience new aspects of music wanting to reveal themselves, and poking you for your attention in various playful ways. 

Stage 3- Building Foundation

Very few actually make it through this stage, it is the rite of passage. At this time you will know if your Vocation is true or if it was a fleeting interest. If it was a fleeting interest, there is nothing wrong with that! Be grateful that you made it this far, and use the skills you gathered to bring joy into your life and others in a balanced and accepting way. That is all you need to do, and is most likely exactly what music wanted from you.

Fortunately, having a music practice in your life is not always about being proficient, sometimes it serves as a mindful, soothing, meditative, and creative outlet that can bring your life into more harmony and connect you deeper to your own inspiration which offers more ease in the rest of your life. It can also serve as a healing modality, for which too much proficiency is not always the most needed attribute.

If, however, the courtship has been making you crazy; if you long for your guitar every time you take a break from practicing to just go pee; then it is likely you are being seduced to build the foundation required for long-term love and life with your instrument.

Stage 4- Falling in Love <3

Now you’re really done for. The courtship is in full effect and you are head over heels, thinking about your beloved all day long, fantasizing about all the ways you’d like to commune and create together. If you have a human significant other, you may experience conflict while your instrument is in the same room as you two and –god forbid– not being played. This is real! Don’t worry, your instrument will learn to honor your human relationships as long as you continue giving it what it needs. Enjoy this time! It is a special time when the romance is hot, the honeymoon is sweet, and the music that comes out is charged with a special sparkle. Even though the love lasts throughout your entire music career, there is nothing quite like that first period where you discover true love with your instrument.  

Stage 5- Marriage

In this case, marriage is not only commitment but an actual merging. The instrument becomes you and you become it. Your expression is deeply dependent on your instrument. Yes, you can function without it, and yes you may be able to even make music in other ways, but life is just not the same unless you and your beloved are hand on neck (for fretted instruments). The music you make together is an honest expression of your heart and soul, and nothing blocks you from playing whatever you desire.

By this point, you have probably chosen to be a professional musician, or are thinking of it. The world needs more musicians so if there are any reservations, just go for it! Do whatever it takes because if you’re even thinking about taking music more seriously, chances are you will at some point later in life, or regret passing that dream up. In my humble opinion, it’s not really about how “good” or "versatile" you are (even though these qualities are undoubtably helpful!), rather it’s about the relationship you have with your instrument or expression. If you truly are deeply immersed in & endlessly captivated by your soul’s expression through playing a musical instrument (including the voice), then chances are the world will benefit from your contribution :)

I should Play Music!

So this is a taste of the process that takes place from the very first thought to the complete merge. Hopefully this description will give you appreciation for wherever you happen to be in this journey, and for the special relationships you get to glimpse when you listen to other musicians.

Written by Ila Cantor